Suggestions please!

[Gayesy]

Hi everyone. I'm sorry I have been pretty much MIA lately. More man troubles unfortunately. I can tell you, this little heart can only take so much.

Anyway, with a hopefully better future in mind (one of these days, I'll find a guy who will really love me and my kids, won't I?), sometime down the track, I am hoping some of you wonderful ladies could help me with some suggestions.

Currently I have been sleeping in a queensize bed with the two kids (Thomas is now nine and Katie is four). Obviously if I were ever to start having "sleepovers" with anyone when the kids were here (as opposed to at their Dad's), I would need them to be sleeping in another room. I am thinking that if I could start the transition now, then I will have PLENTY of time to do it.

Each child has a bed in a room of his/her own, with the bedding of choice (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for Thomas, and Barbie for Katie ) But as yet neither child has ever slept on his/her own. I would consider sleeping them together somehow, except Thomas REALLY objects to sleeping next to Katie now (she kicks), and to be frank, they fight now if I ever leave them alone in bed together (to say, go and answer the phone). Also, because they are different genders and Thomas is already nine, it won't be long before he hits the dreaded puberty and it wouldn't be appropriate for them to share a bed anyway.

So... How can I get them each sleeping in his/her own bed?? FYI, Katelyn STILL nurses off to sleep, Thomas DVD's off to sleep (lol) and both are scared of the dark.

[SusanH]

I'm afraid my only experience is with Susy and may not apply to your kids. We started out by putting her in her own bed in our room (a mattress next to ours). Then she moved it across the room, then she started asking for her own room and once she got it (age 5), she never came back.

I have a friend who was desperate to get her five year old into her own room (after 15 solid years of cosleeping with her kids) and she succeeded by paying her $1 per night.

For Thomas, I'd talk to him about a plan to help him move into his own room. Find out what would help - DVDs in his room, a nightlight, a sleeping bag in your room to move to if he wakes up afraid, whatever he thinks would make him comfortable. For Katelyn, if she's old enough, ask her input as well. Perhaps start by lying down with her in her room to nurse (that's how we got Susy used to sleeping on her own mattress instead of ours) and moving away when she's asleep.

I hope you find a solution and that once you do, the right guy drops into your life, just when you're feeling ready for him.

[Southern Rain]

At 3-4, I have had great success with a sticker chart. I start by asking them to start the night in their own room and they can earn a sticker. When they've got that down, they have to stay the whole night in their room to earn the sticker.

Basically, I introduce the idea and keep presenting it until they decide they want to try it. But, stickers would have to be a motivator for your kids for it to work. Otherwise, I'd go with whatever does motivate them. When we moved Lionheart out at 8, what motivatd him was earning a toy. I used to have them earn stickers to earn a bigger reward. Then, I realized for *most* of my kids the sticker was motivation enough.

[Gayesy]

Thanks ladies! Those are the sort of things I was hoping would work! LOL Susan about the money. When I mentioned to Thomas this morning that we were going to start working towards having him in hos own bed, his words were, "Does this involve money?"

Anyway, this morning I went out and bought a little touch lamp for each child to have beside the bed, so that when they do sleep in there, they can just reach out and touch it if ever they get scared of the dark. I also put warmer covers on their beds, as it's getting pretty chilly here at night these days (last night it got down to 6 C, which is about 41 F, and we don't have any heating on!).

I spoke to them this morning and they said they would like to start out together on a mattress on the floor in my room, so I have set one up for them. They seem quite excited actually, so hopefully they will still feel that way tonight. Anyway, I have decided I will get a sticker chart going for each of them and they can each work towards a reward. There is no rush thankfully so I can let them take their time over each stage of the transition. But I'm thinking that within a few months they will probably both be regularly sleeping in their own rooms.

[sdipert]

We use the sticker chart too, but we use it for many things not just sleeping that takes some of the pressure off sleeping. So there are about 5 task on the chart example, brushed teeth, cleaned up toys, slept in own bed, listened to mom and dad...etc than there are the days of the week. For each day that he does each of the things on the chart he gets a sticker after so many stickers in a week he gets a prize.