Jealousy

[Ktyyyyyyy]

I am having such a hard time with Ryan. He is 16 months, and for a long time he has been so jealous any time I hold his sister or she sits on my lap. Lindsay is 3 1/2, and she sill likes to be held a lot, and I love cuddling with her, but it's really creating a problem. Ryan will be off happily playing with a toy, but the second Lindsay climbs on my lap, Ryan will come running over screeching and will try to pull Lindsay off my lap. I have started telling him that right now it's Lindsay's turn to sit with me, and soon it will be his turn. He just stands there and screams. After about a minute, I will say, "Okay, it's Ryan's turn now." My DD will get off my lap, and I will pick up Ryan and he is fine, but I feel bad for my DD. Then after a few minutes, I will say, "Okay, now it's Lindsay's turn" but at that point, Lindsay is usually busy with something else, and doesn't want to be held. I can't hold them at the same time because when I do Ryan gets mad and will hit Lindsay and pull her hair. Ryan even gets mad if the cat is on my lap.

It's not like I don't hold Ryan very much. I hold him tons, but he is also a very busy little guy, and there are lots of times that he wants to be down exploring and playing. My DD goes to preschool 2 mornings a week, and during these times I have one-on-one time with Ryan, so he even gets quite a bit of time with me when his sister's not around. I find myself trying to avoid situations when I would hold my DD which is so unfair to her. If I see that she is about to climb on my lap, I will often get up and try to get her involved in an activity. Or I will try to encourage her to walk when she wants to be carried. I feel like I am depriving her in an effort to minimize conflict. I just don't know what to do.

[jenn s]

(((hugs))) that's got to be tough. I don't (at this point) have any suggestions as I'm still just a mom of one, waiting on baby #2 to arrive any day..

(((hugs)))

[bugsmom]

I too am watching this thread, Teddy is the same age as Ryan and I have the same problems.

[hedra]

Heck, we couldn't hold HANDS (DH and I) when Gabe was that age. Brendan was a bit more tolerant, but only of DH and I, NOT of Gabe.

We made a point of explaining to Gabe that Bren wouldn't be like that forever, AND of having one of us take Gabe off somewhere for one-on-one time. Both of them got over it a few months later. It comes and goes with the fussy stages (see link in sig, though this one is after the end of the last one, they seem to recycle a bit!).

Hang in there!