Feeling a bit crazy -- a vent

[dane]

I'm not sure where to start, so forgive me if this is a bit jumbled. I've gotten to this point where I'm feeling really aggravated and at times angry or depressed...with seemingly everything. I feel like DS should be on his way to weaning, but seems to want to nurse more now than ever. While I do want him to stop nursing so much, I get really sad when I think about him stopping altogether. I'm also tired of waiting for him to potty train and I don't want to push him, but I'm really tired of dirty diapers. Then there's the fact that I would like my body back to myself a little bit, but I feel guilty for that too. I'm feeling touched-out and like I need a lot more breaks away than normal. Another thing that might be contributing to my moods is that I haven't had a regular cycle since DS was born. I went on the depo provera shot for a little over a year, but have been off it for over 5 months, and still no cycle. I'm not sure if my hormones could be so out-of-whack that they have something to do with everything. I'm supposed to go this week to get my estrogen levels tested, then possibly start prometrium to get started up again. Anyway, I'm just feeling a bit out of it and don't know what to do. I hate feeling so grumpy and irritable. DS doesn't deserve that and neither does DH, but I don't know what to do.

Thanks for letting me vent. Hopefully this is just a phase I'm going through...

Dana.

[hedra]

It could also be a phase your SON is going through - maternal "I HAVE HAD IT, I QUIT!" reactions are a normal sign that your child is going through a developmental change. You may not always notice the outward symptoms in them, but it will still totally FRY your brain. Your son is not much younger than mine, and I swear, the last few months have been one hair-pulling event after another with him. However, he's just shifted out of that stage (MOSTLY), and is suddenly much 'older' seeming - he's more interested in the potty, he's less clingy, he's less needy, and his communication skill has just shot through the roof (though he still has a speech delay, his grammar and syntax got much more complex and reliable all of a sudden, and he's become more independent). So, fingers crossed, you are about to hit that phase change. (granted, he still has the most astonishing outbursts and control-freak-fits, but not nearly as many as before)

Getting a break really helps in these stages. Can you have someone watch him while you get away for at least a few hours? It might be a good time to consider a few hours of preschool-type activities a week, too... somewhere that he can be engaged and you don't have to be ATTACHED.

And yes, your hormones may be playing a role, too, but I don't think you are nuts at all to be ready to crawl out of your skin to get away.