PAILS Cubby Hot Topic: Naming New Baby

[Maribeth]

How do you feel about naming a subsequent baby after a baby who has died, either using the first or middle name as a first or middle name, or the entire name?

Share your thoughts with us! The thread will be archived for our PAILS of Hope Cubby - http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/pailsofhope

Thanks!
Mari

[Angellochie]

For me it was a difficult decision during my subsequent pregnancy. If the baby was a boy, would i or would i not name him after my beautiful departed Lachlan James. My husband and I ummed and ahhed over what to do. In the end we not to use any part of Lochie's name, instead we chose Nicolas Jamie for if our baby was a boy. Jamie was our way of honouring Lochie's name (James) while still giving our newest child a name of his own. Our reasoning was that we would not want my new baby to feel like he was forever living in the shadow of his elder brother who had died. We wanted him to be able to feel like he was his own person and not just the baby that came after Lochie died. The decision, however, was moot as we had a girl.

I am in no way saying that no one should give their Angel's name to another child, just that doing so was not right for my husband and I.

[Scout]

I very much wanted to name Sam, "Samuel Henry," after his big brother, but my husband was against it.

In the books that I've read, most experts do strongly recommend giving subsequent children their own names (and in particular, first names that are different than the lost sibling).

[ajpr2]

We named Samantha Grace after Allison Grace. We decided to use the middle name because we thought it was a fitting middle name and because we wanted to somehow honor Allison, yet make Samantha her own person.

I think it is very hard to name children after a loss because you are always thinking of the name you did or would have used. I also think that it is something that each person has to decide for themselves. But I personally think there is no better way to honor our child that we lost than to use their name. People do it all the time with parents, grandparents, or others, why not a child.