Dark Days

[MrsTraigo]

Morrighanne, I didn't actually experience a rupture but the doctors were pretty insistent that the tube needed to be removed in order to keep it from happening again in the future. I guess it's a more common practice here in Japan to deal with ectopic pregnancies in this fashion. Unfortunately at the time I was pretty uneducated on how to properly deal with an ectopic pregnancy and went with what the doctor suggested- there are times when I wish I would have fought to keep the other tube.

I have started fertility testing and so far everything looks as it should- my remaining tube is open and my uterus is in perfect shape, I am ovulating regularly and with textbook timing (day 14-15 ovulation on a 29 day cycle), and my progesterone levels after ovulation are exactly where they need to be in order to allow a fertilized egg to implant. The only thing that hasn't come out the way we'd hoped has been the Huhner Test (the dual-fertility test) when we realized my cm wasn't a sperm-friendly environment. I started taking Early Primrose Oil with this last cycle and the latest Huhner test had a slightly better result (lots of spermies but no one was moving when they looked- where last moth there wasn't many but they were moving a little bit). The hospital seems to be focusing on the timing of our BD (as if I haven't already been doing that!) and wants to do yet another run of the Huhner test next cycle. -In short we have no more answers then I had before I went in-

As for the due date - it's next Sunday. I know I shouldn't be focusing on this day in particular, but I can't seem to help myself. DH and I are hoping to use this day as an opportunity to finally let the little one go- honor the hope they gave us and try to go forward from here...

....I'll let you all know how it goes

[Morrighanne]

I'll be thinking of you next week Brandi, I hope you get some answers really soon

[ajpr2]

First, let me say I am so sorry about your loss. It is only normal for the due date to be hard. When we suffer a loss everyone has their own "dates" or "milestones" that are hard for them. Be gentle with yourself. It is okay to be upset, angry, sad. There will always be dark days, but I promise over time, they won't feel as dark.

Are you at a military hospital or at a Japanese hospital? I hope the next dr appointment brings you some answers and hope.

On a side note, where in Kyushu are you located? We are up in Kobe, so on Honshu. We went to Kyushu this past August for 4 days. It was beautiful!

[MrsTraigo]

Thanks again everyone for you support during this tough time. Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it would be- even though I did start off the day with yet another BFN. My husband and I went to a nearby river and tossed a white rose into the current, watching it until it disappeared (this is something we do every time we lose someone special to us- and unfortunately this year there have been quite a few flowers on the river). It was a bittersweet way to say goodbye to the family we could have been, but now we can focus on the family we are going to become.

I am an English teacher here in Japan (hubby is too) so we're going to a Japanese hospital. I have to admit that we've found one of the best in the area, and though it's getting frustrating simply working on 'timing' and the Huhner test for now, we're going to stick with it.

I live in Kumamoto City- and you're right, Kyushu is beautiful (especially the Miyazaki prefecture!!).

[MrsTraigo]

Another month, another cycle begins. We did recently get some good news- they were finally willing to do a semen analysis on my husband after yet another Huhner test showed no movement. His results came back perfect- no male-factor infertility with us! It may seem strange to call this a win, but it seems like there is so much more that they can do about female-factor infertility here. I feel hopeful that maybe we can actually successfully conceive again.


Here's hoping.....