Hi.....

[armo]

and congratulations to Francine and Alexis on their newest editions to their families.

Congrats to the other ladies who have had success, and lots of baby dust to those trying to get pregnant. My heartfelt sympathies to those who have had a loss/losses.

It´s been awhile since I´ve been here. I had a difficult pregnancy subsequent to my 2 miscarriages. I had a hard time dealing with my fear of losing another. Then after I had my baby, Max, I had a severe case of Post Partum Depression and kind of went into seclusion. Actually, I thought that once I gave birth to a healthy baby, I would go back to ¨normal¨, but I think I no longer knew what normal was or felt like. Nobody (except for a friend) seemed to understand why I was such a mess. Anyway, long story short, I´m glad to be back. I´m feeling better, and doing things to help myself feel better too.

I´m looking forward to reacquainting myself with those I knew and getting to know the other members.

[Tahoe]

Ana -

Welcome back! I'm sorry about the loss of your 2 angels. It sucks that any of us have to go through a loss. I totally understand about PPD; I had it after my DD was born. I thought that it would just "get better" but after almost 2 months passed without it getting better, I called the doctor and got medication. I never knew how bad I felt until I started to feel better. I feel like I missed out on the first 2 months of DDs life :(. I had a loss at 12 weeks in March, and am now expecting again. Naturally I quite anxious that all will go well. As far as the PPD this time around, my doctor and I will be prepared and I will begin taking medication before birth. It will be a medication I can use while breastfeeding, so that helps a lot.

I'm glad you're feeling better. :) Looking forward to getting to know you better.

[PeggyG]

Hi and welcome back. I'm sorry about your losses and what you have gone through. I, too thought that having a healthy baby would make me feel "normal", but it didn't. DH and I never went to counceling after losing Daniel so I think we were very unprepared to bring home a living child. I was so afraid he would die in his sleep and ended up depressed alot. I think that we've come a long way since then and that when the new baby comes home we will be much better prepared on what to expect.
I'm glad you are feeling better! Looking forward to learning more about you too.

[Honey Bee]

Hi Ana,

I remember you - from SFL I think. I'm sorry to hear about your PPD, but glad that things are looking up for you.

Welcome back! :)

Liss

[Hop Devil]

Welcome back, Ana. I was a sufferer of PPD with my twins. Just take care of yourself and make sure you get the help you need.

[armo]

thanks for the welcome ladies!

[franros]

Welcome Ana. I do remember you from SFL. I am glad that you are feeling better. I am also having a hard time remembering what "normal" is. I am thrilled with my little girl, but still more than a touch hormonal (and still in some pain from the c/s) so things don't seem like they should. Now that all of the family has gone home though I am hoping that we will get some sense of normalcy back. I guess people just think that once you have a healthy child that everything is ok; they forget that it can also bring back those feelings of loss. Now I realize just how much I missed with Ben. I am glad you are feeling better and I hope we will be seeing a lot of you.

[ajpr2]

Welcome back! I remember you from SFL as well. I am sorry that you had some problems after you had Max. I know exactly what you mean though. I thought having another baby would magically fix everything. Instead it just makes things alot more complicated.

Anyways, welcome back and I can't wait to get reaquainted!

[Maribeth]

Ana,

Just wanted to give you some hugs and say welcome back.

After the birth of my first living child, I had a similar experience. I was so afraid to think past the delivery room during my pregnancy that I just didn't believe I was going to be a mom - and if I was so lucky, all of my prayers would have been answered and things would be just peachy. It wasn't. I guess I thought all of the past pain would magically go away and it didn't. My journey took 8 1/2 years and I just couldn't lay that aside and forget it. People thought I was ungrateful or just wanted to live in pain forever. No . . . I just hadn't really dealt appropriate or enough with my grief. I had always put it on hold hoping that eventually I'd have a healthy baby and he'd fix it all. A new baby isn't a band-aid. So, I had some grief work to do and some parenting skills to learn while having a very hypersensitive infant to care for who was critically ill at birth.

It all DID get better. And that baby just turned 16 last week. EEGADS! No one in the world can make me laugh like this child - all 6 feet, 140 pounds of him. He didn't take away the pain but he most definitely restored my faith and hope in life. And he continues to do that :)

Hugs!
Mari

[suanne]

Welcome back! I really am sorry for all the hardships you've gone through. ((HUGS))