What does a doula ACTUALLY do?

[Punkin'sMommy]

I done lots of research on doulas and have emailed several but all the information I'm getting back says that they provide emotional and physical support to the laboring woman which doesn't really tell me much about the hands on aspects of what they do. A couple said that they provided massage and suggest changing positions but that was it. I really don't have a clue what they actually do. Is it standard that they all provide massage or is that something only a few do so if you want it you have to find someone who provides that? Do they provide perineal massage or place warm moist towels on that area to aid in preventing tearing or again, if that's something you want do you have to ask if they specifically provide that?

Also, if they all provide different services, how do I know what I want before I'm acutally in labor?

[miche]

What the doula does will depend on the doula. My doula had a lending library, provided support during pregnancy at two meetings and on the phone and email whenever I wished (we emailed each other a lot!) She loaned me a birth ball to sit on during late pregnancy as well as to bring to the hospital. She applied counter pressure and massage to my back during labor, but left perineal support, and anything else hands on in the vaginal area to the nurses and doctor. Most OB's will not do internal checks either - they are not medically trained. She was an incredible emotional support. She consistently reminded me to speak up for my wishes - she reminded me to ask questions/make statements about my wishes at appropriate times. She didn't speak directly to the doctors, but spoke to me instead saying things like, "Now might be a good time to remind the doctor that you don't want ..." etc. She "stood guard" at the door to my room to ward off unnecessary interruptions. Basically she made it so that I didn't have to think or worry about anything and my family didn't have to either. She took lots of great pictures as well!

I talk a lot about her in my pregnancy journal and birth story (link in signature). I actually had two doula's at the birth because a doula in training was invited (with my approval). Mine was the first birth she attended and it completed her training. She was fabulous as well!

When choosing a doula I recommend getting references and also asking the tough questions such as have you ever had a conflict with hospital staff or a care provider, how was it resolved, what caused it, etc. Also ask if she ever has had a conflict with a client. My doula was extremely upfront and answered that at her 3rd or 4th birth she did overstep her bounds and get into an argument with a doctor which greatly upset her client. She said she was new and learned a lot from that experience. I really appreciated her honesty and since mine was the 25th or so birth she attended I believed that she had learned from her past mistakes. As I said before she was wonderful! :)

[Benny's Mom]

While you can choose a doula based on what form of comfort measures they offer, like, aromatherapy, hypnobirthing, homeopathy or accupressure, most likely, a good doula for you is one who has a personality that you find comforting, relaxing and nurturing.

For me, we chose our doula because she was a coteacher or our natural childbirth class. My husband liked the way she listened to me. Her face would relax in agreement with my comments and she would focus intently on me. He's such a good judge of character. I never noticed how good of a fit she was, and boy, she was such a god send she turned out to be for us.

She arrived at our home at 6 am after taking my call at 5 am that I was overwhelmed and having a hard time coping. She stayed with me from 6 am until the baby was born at 1:05 am the next morning...All the while, rarely taking her hands off my pressure points to alleviate the pain of contractions, giving me good information about the course of my labor, encouraging changes in position based on where my pain was and helping me remember to eat. She was also a huge support to my husband who was afraid for me. She normalized everything and helped him feel that I and the baby were safe. Essentially, he could be "in labor" too and not worry that he had to be "mr. strong" for me.

We love our doula. She also came after the birth to visit me at home, brought me and Rich a meal, told me the story of my birth from her vantage point and she also validated my feelings of hurt over how certain things were handled by my caregivers in that she saw the same things I did and felt the same way.

She came back again to help me breast feed, and then met us months later to see Benny. I even invited her to his 1st birthday party.

I'd really encourage you to hire a doula that you like and feel connected to. We were so taken care of by her and i'll always be grateful that she was at my birth.