What can I do for my friend?

[lunchbox]

My friend recently brought home her newborn son, who was diagnosed with Trisomy 13. I am not sure what his specific prognosis is, but I not its not favorable with a Trisomy 13 diagnosis.

I am at such a loss at what I can do for her. A baby afghan or prayer shawl seems so insignificant right now. She has meals and babysitting covered.

[K. C.]

I think a prayer shawl would be a lovely gesture.

[Tami C]

I'm not so sure "things" will matter to her. Put yourself in her shoes - you've just brought home a baby that you already know has a shortened life expectancy. Me, I would be thinking about how can I make every single minute of my sons life perfect, how can I make every second count. I would be taking pictures by the hundreds. I would be trying to spend every minute with him, holding him, touching him, listening to him breathe.

Now the question is, how can someone else make life easier for all of us? Well, can you shuttle film or her camera chip to the photo developer? Can you get some of her nicer pics and have them blown up and framed? Make a scrapbook or album for her? On the practical side, can you vacuum her house, clean her bathrooms, or pick up snacks for her? You said meals were covered, but will that include dessert items or midnight snacks?

Mostly, if I was in her shoes, I would want to know that things weren't getting lost in the shuffle. If I had older kids, I would want to know someone was checking their backpacks to make sure they got their homework done and didn't miss a field trip because I was distracted. I'd want to make sure the light bill got paid and the garbage got taken out. Day to day life stuff that I wouldn't be up to focusing on in the face of dealing with my baby.

[ajpr2]

Tami gave you some awesome ideas. I think something photo wise would be perfect.

But more importantly than material items, just be there for them. They are going to need it with the ups and downs they are having.

You are a good friend Merril. :hug:

[lunchbox]

Thanks for the ideas. I know she had a professional photographer come to the hospital but the scrapbook idea is lovely. She has a CaringBridge website so I could also print out the comments from there.

[Wldflwr716]

I would offer to take some pictures for her or even pay to have some professionally done. Pictures are all we have left of our little ones and there can never be enough. Videos would also be nice for her to have.

[MarinerFan19]

I hope this is o.k. to post about...

You may want to check out the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Organization. (NILMDTS) They were recently on the Today Show. I am a volunteer photographer for NILMDTS and there are no costs involved what so ever for parents. There are over 3000 photographers nationwide who donate their time and talent.

This service was not available when we lost our sweet angel so it is a way I can give back to others.

[ajpr2]

Videos would also be nice for her to have.

My mom took a ton of pictures that we had of Allison and had someone turn it into a video with music and everything. I have never watched it, but someday when I am ready it will be another thing that I have.

Someone made me a scrapbook of all the comments here on Sn and of cards they collected. It was something very neat to have and different. My SIl made a scrapbook of pictures and we have it on our shelf.

I am sure she would love anything.

[sunny-d]

I had been wondering how they were doing. :hug: I think, just having a friend like you is a blessing for her and her family. :hug:

[lunchbox]

I hope this is o.k. to post about...

You may want to check out the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Organization. (NILMDTS) They were recently on the Today Show. I am a volunteer photographer for NILMDTS and there are no costs involved what so ever for parents. There are over 3000 photographers nationwide who donate their time and talent.

This service was not available when we lost our sweet angel so it is a way I can give back to others.

They had this done already. The pictures are gorgeous. Its just a wonderful organization.

Sadly, CJ passed away this weekend in his parent's arms at home. He had just 40 days and nights on this earth.

If anyone has a caringbridge account, you can see his story. His name was Christopher Jordan Godhard.

I am going to make a very small photo album for Noah, his big brother. He is just 2 but it will be something for him to have to remember CJ when he gets older.

[Tami C]

Thank you for the update, Merrill. Christopher and his family will be in my thoughts. I think a small album for his brother is a wonderful idea. He won't have true memories of his own, this will be something he can hold onto as a way of connecting with Christopher.

[ajpr2]

I think that is a wonderful gift Merrill. I am so sorry for your friend's loss. :(

[sunny-d]

*tears* I'm so sorry! I was really hoping for a miracle. :(

:hug: