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View Full Version : Has anyone done the DS thing yet?


MardiGrasGirl
05-10-2005, 06:07 PM
If so, please tell me it gets better!!! He was supposed to take a so-called half day today and it's 6:00 and he's still not home. He called me and told me to put the chicken up bc he'd be home around 5 and we were going to go shopping for new shoes for E's communion so we'd just eat out (like we really have money for that :rolleyes: ).

He just called me and he's still not coming home yet. He says they'd let him take full days off but he can't bc he leaves on Sunday so he needs to be there this week. Yet apparently he's not even going to come home for half the day. I've told him I hate this and that I don't think he'll be volunteering to do the third year (supposedly it's only 2 years mandatory, a third would be voluntary) and he just keeps telling me I don't know that yet. It's the beginning still so it's hard to tell. But in my mind, if he's not getting to come home and unpack (remember the permissive TDY he asked if he could wait until our furniture got here and they said yes?) then I don't see how they are going to be allowing of other things. It's not like he's asking for time he's not owed. Technically he's asking for the 10 days (not even 10 days if he could be here full days) permissive TDY that he was authorized upon arrival but was told he could take when we moved into the house. His days that are supposed to be given to him! HIS days!!!

I hate the stupid DS thing!!! Ok, I'm sure you all are getting sick of hearing/reading this, but I don't want to be here. There is this huge part of me that would rather just leave and go back home to family. If I'm thinking that after a month here, how are we going to make it through 2 years? When he requested the JSTARS assignment everyone told him not to, that it breaks up marriages. We made it through there fine and that's actually where I want to go back to. But I wonder why no one warned him about what being a DS can do to a marriage. Bc from what I'm seeing so far it's only going to hurt it.

I don't know. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm just stressed from all of the things we have going (no money right now, the house still in GA, trying to unpack, etc) and once things start working out (getting our reimbursements, renting/selling the house in GA, finish unpacking, etc) I will start to feel better and start to like it here. But it's hard to imagine that when right now EVERYTHING sucks.

1Dawn
05-10-2005, 07:46 PM
I am so sorry it sucks right now :( Transition stinks. It is so hard on families and especially the husband/wife relationship. Too much to do, too many obligations and not enough hours in the day.

My dh has never ever in 19 years taken the time off to help unpack. New job was always just more enticing than boxes ;) The stuff always gets unpacked (or it doesn't and no one notices).

Remember to do what you can do each day to make your family world happy. And you have to trust that your dh is doing the same. It may not feel like he is because he isn't how you would like him to do it but he is. His most important thing is earning money to support the family. He wants to do that the best way he possibly can. Men especially look at their self worth as it relates to work. He is doing the best he can, trust him. Tell him you trust him (even if you are questioning it)

I totally relate to the frustration. My dh is on convalesant leave. Guess who had to leave this morning at 6:30 am and returned at 3:00pm??? Guess where I had to drive dh??

;)

Dawn

CindyH
05-11-2005, 04:22 PM
I wish I could wave a magic wand and *poof* make it all better for you. DS and Recruiting are supposed to be different feathers of the same bird. I'll give you a ring when we're a month into it and we can vent together.

Deep breaths. This is temporary. I'm telling myself this 10 times a day and I'm not even packed yet. It stinks, but once you get settled and into a routine, it will get better. When we were in Germany and he had such a sporatic work schedule, I learned to just pretend like he was deployed all the time. When he was home it was a bonus, but I was always prepped for if he wouldn't be. Schedule your activities and that for the kids. Make sure you go to them. Always have something that you can throw together for dinner for days like today. It's okay to be upset.

Hugs coming your way and I hope things perk up for you shortly.

Cindy

eviesmom
05-14-2005, 01:09 PM
I hope things get easier for you soon. Like Dawn said transistions are so hard.