how do you feel about following?

[1Dawn]

I waffle with my mood. How do you feel about being the one in the relationship that has to follow. Being the dependent (luckily they don't use that term very much anymore). Being the one that has to find the new job etc. The guys have the new friends built into the job, or at least adult conversation.

How do you feel about this?
Dawn

[carissanboys]

Doesn't bother me actually. I'm a SAHM so I don't need to look for a new job when we move. And I love change. Every couple of years I get antsy and need something new so the military lifestyle suits me very well in that aspect.

I actually haven't made any real friends over here (and we've been here almost 2 years) and that's fine with me. The environment we leave in is very gossipy and that kind of stuff drives me nuts. I'd rather stick to myself. I have my good friends back in the states that I talk to. I get out enough with storytime and the pool and stuff like that that I do interact with other moms. But I like being at home anyway :)

If I had a career apart from my children, I would think it would be very difficult. But then again, I'd probably still like change so it might not bother me.

[MonkeyPuppy]

I hate it and I am a SAHM. We are actually having really bad issues with this as of the moment. We have been here for 4 years and have 2 more left. Then Dh wants to do a year remote to Korea and possible stay here longer or go back home to AZ. I wouldn't mind the AZ option because all my family is there but staying here is not an option for me right now. I am having horrible depression from the long winters and other things that I need to get out of AK soon! Medications aren't working and a whole slew of other things I have tried haven't helped either.

[MardiGrasGirl]

sometimes it bothers me, sometimes it doesn't. It depends on what I have going on at the moment. I hated having to "follow" him here bc I had started school with the intention of continuing until I finished. Two weeks into the semester he got his orders. :rolleyes: It gets to be a pain to try to make plans and have the rug pulled out from under you. Now I'm doing daycare at least until our house sells so that we have a little extra money to help cover the house note since we're losing our housing allowance. And of course, once I start I probably won't quit so who knows when I'll get back to school. That's the part of following that bugs me.

[susi8573]

I don't know....most the time I'm glad when we leave a place as I'm ready for a new one......but as the kids get older, I don't want them to be pulled out of their enviroment every other year.....on the other hand, if I don't like a place I know we won't stay forever (most would be 3 years)

but as I don't work, I don't mind it.......hey we just got here last summer and are going back to where we came from in a few weeks

[Pilotswife]

I don't mind it. I like changing things up every few years. I am the one who married DH knowing full well what the lifestyle would involve. We've always been able to pick our duty stations so we talked about it together. As a teacher, I can get a job anywhere but DH knows there are some states I don't ever want to teach in and states I prefer, like here in TX and that's why we are here b/c I wanted it.

One time, and only one time, DH made a comment about us moving and it was to a place where I didn't want to go and he made the remark about him making more money than I do and we should go to where he wants to go. We had a little "come to Jesus" meeting after that and it was the last time DH ever made that comment!!!!!!!!!

[CindyH]

For me, it really depends on the day. There are some times where I don't mind it. I like the change of scenery and new faces. You are the "new kid in school" again. You've never said the wrong thing, you've never had milk come out of your nose, you were never seen speeding through post, none of that. There is the thrill of a new home, new ideas, new adventures. New places to go, things to do and people to see. Moving is a freedom of sorts.

The biggest problem that I have is that I really hate that people don't stay friends. I had such tight friendships in Germany and as soon as I left it was just like, "out of sight, out of mind" mentality. I was the one making all the effort to keep the relationship and no one on the other end seemed interested. :( It's really sad to have such a tight bond for so long and then to have something as silly as a move destroy it. Especially with the communication resources that are available. The friendships I do have I cherish. They are the people who help me keep my sanity.

I miss family get togethers and holidays. I hate having to find a new job and explain why my resume is so long and why there are gaps in my employment history. Not to mention the fees to change my licensure everytime we move to another state. I don't like trying to find a new church and I really wish that making friends was easier.

I guess you just have to take the good with the bad. I signed up for this when I married him, but it's sort of like having kids. You are never 100% sure what it's going to be like and then just when you get the hang of it, it changes.

Cindy

[LadyEo]

For me it also depends on my mood. Most times I'm fine with it because I do enjoy this lifestyle. I love setting up house and seeing new places, exploring new cities.

I was half way through my Master/certification program when Frank joined. I finished, knowing I did NOT want to teach and move around. I don't think I could handle being a first year teacher every third year-especially in H.S. Biology, my area. So, I really have not had a career and it is a lot harder for me than even Frank knows, I think.

[3xMama]

I don't mind it too much. I think it's a lot harder to be overseas, though. You can't hardly do anything with out your sponsor holding your hand. When you are stateside you have a lot more options. I enjoy the moving around and all that, and since I am a SAHM, finding a new job isn't an issue. :)

[lizamac]

Honestly.... I love it. I made this choice. I had a promising career of my own when we got married, and decided whole heartedly to follow my DH. I wanted to be a SAHM from the start, and when I married Dave I knew he had great career aspirations. I marrid him knowing that..... and would never want him to give up his dreams. There are plenty of dreams I can follow as a military wife. :)

Liz