My father and AP philosophy

[miss meg]

I'll keep this short, but earlier this evening I was trying to educate my father and the AP style of parenting. He was quick to try to tell me that AP = spoiling, till I weighted the difference between his grandson and granddaughter.

With ds, I did CIO because I didn't realize there was any other way :( blame that famous CIO episode of Mad About You. At 3.5 y/o he still has problems going to sleep at night. Dd (on the other hand) has never CIO a day in her life. I can put her in her crib fully awake and tell her it's time for sleep. She'll lay her head down and lay quietly until she's asleep. I'm convinced it's because when she was an infant if she cried out I was instantly at her side, rocking her, nursing her, patting her back till she was comfortable again.

That's only one example, but there's plenty more. When I was done, my father actually admitted that in "that context" AP did not seem like such a bad thing:rolleyes:. I just wish he realized how much of the philosophy I actually have utilized: homemade baby food, healthy eating, no CIO, no spanking, and especially with ds, using "reason" (that a preschooler can understand) to explain consequences of actions has had exremely positive outcomes.

I was surprised he'd have such an initial negavtive remark considering how long I've held these practices.

[Carolyn]

:rolleyes: It's a generational thing...my MIL was visiting for over a week and she said her kids went to bed at 8pm and didn't wake til noon the next day...she just never went to them when they cried out and they went back to sleep eventually~I said well it didn't work very well as hubby has the worse sleep patterns of anybody I know and that's probably why...she just walked away. That whole generation was made to believe you could spoil babies.

They always say I am too easy on my kids with the gentle discipline but my kids are pretty well behaved and my 13 year old visited my mother and family for 13 days and charmed everybody...and it's a direct result of treating her with respect...she in turn treats everyone else with respect...some exceptions of course...she is thirteen after all :)

[hedra]

The proof is in the pudding...

I've had a lot of people tell me that my kids are really well behaved, even the 2.5 year old... a few have kind of absorbed that hey, you don't have to be punitive to get results, how interesting!

I've also had people say how well they're doing, and then I tell them what we do, and they look at me funny and say, well, clearly SOMETHING you are doing is working (as if it couldn't be my parenting approach, it must be something else!). :rolleyes:

Sigh. At least my mom thinks things are working well, and my dad thinks they are working well, and neither really cares what method we use, as long as it isn't directly abusive, and it seems to get both short-term and long-term results (with the emphasis on the long-term). They've also learned that I'll educate the heck out of them if they try to keep me from making a mistake they think I'm about to make... ;)

[Katie's Momma]

~I said well it didn't work very well as hubby has the worse sleep patterns of anybody I know and that's probably why...she just walked away.

ROFL! You got her good on that one!

People often comment on our well-behaved, polite little girl. She is just so happy, they say. Doh! It amazes me that people are surprized that actually spending quality time with your child and not yelling at or hitting them is beneficial! :rolleyes:

Keep up the good work folks! You know in your hearts that you are doing the best thing for your child by raising them gently.