Please help with all the wakings

[Kaylyn]

I'm hoping once again that you ladies can help me out. We're having some big sleep issues right now, both day and night, that have been worsening over the last few months.

Daytime - He naps in his crib when we're home but his naps are 30mins regardless of where he is - car, front carrier, crib. He'll wake from naps seemingly refreshed but then get tired and cranky again 30mins to an hr later. Sears says to nap with him - not an option as I have a non-napping 3yo to take care of too. Pantley says to get him back to sleep at the first wimper for a week - tried it, doesn't work, he won't go back to sleep.

Nighttime - Whereas he was getting up just once, he's now up every two hrs or so throughout the night. We co-sleep, though he goes to bed earlier than I do. He wakes whether I'm there or not. Sometimes he's awake for an hour or more trying to get back to sleep.

Here's the thing though - he falls asleep on his own initially. He won't nurse or rock to sleep. When he gets tired he squirms around until I lay him down. So much for the theory that if they fall asleep on their own they'll get themselves back so sleep! I know his bad daytime sleep is affecting his nights (or vice versa), I just don't know what to do! I have Nighttime Parenting, No Cry Sleep Solution, and the Baby Book. Nothing seems to be working and I'm completely exhausted. I started looking at Health Sleep Habits for the sleep routine info but haven't bought it because the CIO he advocates just makes me ill (let my child cry for 4 hrs? uh, no.).

Anyway, any advice you have would be appreciated. I know many here have dealt with the same thing. I'm exhausted and have no patience with my 3yo. I'm not being fair to him and I'm miserable. I haven't spent time with my DH in weeks. Something's gotta change.

Thanks,
Kaylyn

[CatOnMyLap]

How old is he? Are you nursing at night? Is he teething?

That book about Healthy Sleep Habits has some good advice (not the CIO part, but the rest)

For example, the more overtired a baby is, the WORSE his sleeping gets! So he says. Many parents have solved their sleep problems by putting baby to bed much earlier. He says that if you wait until they are whining and cranky, rubbing their eyes, you missed your window.

Also-check for all external factors. Some kids have a sensitivity to their pajamas, and need %100 pure cotton or whatever. Room too hot, too cool?

Have you tried a white noise machine?

Anyhow, the Weissbluth guy would say that his problems are due to lack of sleep. Co-sleeping may not be the best for him, maybe a side-carrier where he has more space?

[Spanky2]

He sounds A LOT like my seven month old was. Here's what I did:

Grace used to take 45 mintue naps only - I did do the Pantley thing, where I'd go in at 43 minutes and wait for her to stir. Then I'd give her the soother again and try to get her to sleep again. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. I'd say it took at least 2 weeks before I saw her lengthen the naps. Now, she's a great napper and naps anywhere from 1.5-2 hours twice a day. I also didn't see this pattern develop until about 4 months.

Grace also goes to sleep on her own, but wakes during the night. She will also wake for an hour or so. We haven't really figured out what to do there, but I have decided she doesn't need to be nursed at night anymore. She's 19lbs and can certainly go 7-8 hours without food. This week when I hear her on the monitor, I don't rush in and get her. She usually wakes up and talks, then goes into a whinning. I won't get her until she's upset.

The Healthy Sleep Habit book is VERY chock full of information about sleep studies. I found all the studies and science a bit daunting. However, the book does make a few good points alread mentioned - they NEED to have good naps (less than an hour doesn't count), they NEED to learn how to come into a light sleep cycle and put themselves back to sleep, and sleep is as important as nutrition. You wouldn't feed your baby junk food, so why allow him "junk sleep"?

As for the CIO, nope can't do it according to the book.

I also second the white noise machine, or run a humidifier/fan. What about swaddling?

Good luck!

[Kaylyn]

Thanks for the thoughts so far! I did forget to mention that he's 6mos old. We do use a white noise machine and we used to swaddle, but he's a bit old for it now, plus he pulls out of his blankets.

We are going to try at least starting the night in his crib, mostly because he is rolling now and no longer safe in our bed without us. We'll see how it goes.

Maybe I'll get Healthy Sleep Habits from the library...

Any other thoughts?

Thanks!
Kaylyn