DoulaAmanda
11-06-2002, 08:18 PM
During my doula workshop in September, someone asked rudely WHY on earth would someone CHOOSE to have a cesarean instead of a vaginal birth (in a healthy, normal delivery that was a c-section for no reason other than mother's choice). Everyone there, being new doulas and most very into natural birth, thought it was of course a better idea to at least try labor/vaginal birth.
A very wise doula mentor friend who was helping the instructor with the class said something like: "I used to wonder that too... til I had a client who said she needed a doula but insisted on a cesarean. She later told me she was badly sexually abused by her father, step father, and uncle as a young child. She could not think of anyone touching her there, even a doctor... she said it was many years after she met her husband before they could have sex and years after that til she was comfortable with it. Now I never question it if someone says they would rather have a cesarean delivery-- that's what birth and being a doula is all about, empowering women to make their own choices and helping them through whatever stresses they may have. It is not my business to question their past or their choices, just to help them have a great experience in the way they choose."
Of course everyone in the room was teary eyed after hearing the woman's story. My main job as a doula is to inform the woman and support her choices no matter what... whether her choices are similar to my own or not. I personally would never choose a c-section over vaginal birth... but not everyone thinks it's so great. I'm just glad we live in a country where we have so many choices on where and how to birth our children.
A very wise doula mentor friend who was helping the instructor with the class said something like: "I used to wonder that too... til I had a client who said she needed a doula but insisted on a cesarean. She later told me she was badly sexually abused by her father, step father, and uncle as a young child. She could not think of anyone touching her there, even a doctor... she said it was many years after she met her husband before they could have sex and years after that til she was comfortable with it. Now I never question it if someone says they would rather have a cesarean delivery-- that's what birth and being a doula is all about, empowering women to make their own choices and helping them through whatever stresses they may have. It is not my business to question their past or their choices, just to help them have a great experience in the way they choose."
Of course everyone in the room was teary eyed after hearing the woman's story. My main job as a doula is to inform the woman and support her choices no matter what... whether her choices are similar to my own or not. I personally would never choose a c-section over vaginal birth... but not everyone thinks it's so great. I'm just glad we live in a country where we have so many choices on where and how to birth our children.