Feeling guilty sometimes

[franros]

When I am not holding Jilly, I sometimes feel guilty. When she is crying I want to pick her up right away to comfort her (because I could not do so with Ben) but then I feel bad because I don't want her to learn bad habits and not be able to comfort herself. My niece is 16 months old and my SIL has to constantly be holding her or she gets absolutely beside herself. I think I have struck a good balance. She does get held a lot and I know I have to clean the house and cook dinner etc and can't hold her all the time. It is getting a bit easier now that she is starting to become interested in her toys (and is always happy in the swing). She is such a good baby, it is like she knows that we had such a hard time before. Did anyone else feel this way?

[bonkabonka]

Don't feel guilty for wanting to hold her. If it helps to know, I held dd a lot before she was mobile and she is a really independent girl now.


(((Hugs)))

[Margaret]

Dear Francine,

Don't feel guilty for holding Jilly right now. You cannot spoil an infant. You are just responding to her needs. I also held Emma ALL the time when she was little. She is the most independant, wild thing you have ever seen. I believe it's because she' confident that when she really needs me, she know that I'll be there.

You hold her and love her all you want. There's nothing wrong with it.

Margaret

[Lorrie]

Hold your baby when she cries. It is her way to communicate with you. She will not become spoiled. She is too young to be spoiled. Holding her when she cries helps her to be assured that you are there. You may feel less guilty if you do. Take care..

[Elayne]

Francine...

I held Shayna a ton....hardly ever put her down. Now she is a very independant little one!!!!! Don't worry.....enjoy all of those snuggles.

[GothicQueen]

Jilly is still pretty little, and as you said, she is starting to have an interest in things around her. Just gradually change from holding her all the time to distracting her with a toy, and by time she's 16 months, things should be fine. I too will probably never put my baby down after I have him. It's just the need to feel them alive and well in your arms, to reasure you.
Jilly is lucky to have a mom that cares so for her!!

[PaulaSue]

slings work great so you can do both ;) except cook.

[bravedoe]

Geez, I wish I had some words of wisdom. I only held Kaycee for about 10 minutes so I have not advice as I've never taken care of an infant.

My feelings are if it feels good to you and comforts Jilly, and you want to hold her a lot, then do it. Look at what you went through! Maybe at heart, it comforts you as much as it does her.

Don't feel guilty. I'm sure in time, she will adjust. Not only that, she is suppose to "test the waters" and find out how to get what she wants, right :p

I agree, enjoy all those snuggles......I can't wait to have that opportunity!